Although many trials come without any fault of our own, some we bring on ourselves, or at least we could have avoided some of it. Some of the ways we bring them on ourselves are: wrong decisions/bad choices and lifestyle habits. I would like to talk about adversity brought about by the latter and why people don't realize or choose to end these trials.

My uncle, aunt and kids are going through trials together that they have largely brought on themselves. At the outset of their marriage, my aunt and uncle agreed that the aunt would be the breadwinner of the family. This seemed like no big deal as long as both fulfilled their roles. But over the years, this decision has proven to be disastrous. With no proper nurturing, almost all the kids are now messed up, getting into drugs, etc. It has been sad to see their decline from innocent, young, happy kids to what they are today. I have realized that man cannot mess with God's designs. Happiness will not come until you follow them. Women have their role, and men theirs.

By choosing to live this lifestyle, my cousins, uncle and aunt are suffering through much trial and heartache. Do they not realize that they could end much of it by changing? They may or may not, but the issue is in the fact that they don't change. Why wouldn't they? A few possible reasons: they think they are too far down the road that turning around now wouldn't do any good; they are stubborn, too set in their ways to want to change. For whatever reason, my aunt and uncle continue to endure constant, largely self-inflicted adversity that they could possibly end with a lifestyle change, but don't.

So when in the middle of a trial, ask yourself: do I have anything to do with this? Pride will want you to say no, but give yourself an honest introspection and see if there is an area in your life that, when corrected, would help prevent future circumstances of the same nature.